Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I only have one child.

And, I really need to stop apologizing for it.

Before he hears me.

And begins to think he’s not enough.

I know women who have three or four children, but still don’t feel ready to shut the door on the baby thing.  So, it’s not just a matter of numbers.

And, it’s not as if this is how we planned it.

But, that’s okay.

The way I look at it is we got it right the first time around.

We didn’t need a do over.

And, I need to stop minimizing the fact that I have one child.

Not more than one child.

As if there’s something wrong with me – or him.

I often find myself talking about raising my child with my friends.

And I allow qualifying statements to leave my mouth, like,

“Well, you have two to deal with – I only have one.”

When talking about the difficult days.

The bedtime routines.

And everything in between.

I’m not a lesser mother simply because

I only have one.

And, funny thing is…

My friends don’t ever make me feel that way.

I do.

adjective  /’ōnlē/ 
singular; part of a relatively small number; without sibling; without a sibling of the same gender; singularly superior; the best; without others or anything further; exclusively; no more than; just; as recently as; Under the condition that; but; However; But for the fact that; except

Yes, there is more work with having two children, in some, if not most, instances.

Certainly, there is more money to be spent.

However, it doesn't make your role as a mother any less significant.

Any more than a doctor that only saves one life would be less significant than one that saves hundreds.

In some instances, that only child will keep you busier than a gaggle of children.

For, if you do have more than one child

You aren’t that child’s sole source of entertainment

When there are no play dates planned.

You become the bad guy.

The tickle monster.

The princess to be saved.

The horse to ride.

The co-captain to his captain.

No siblings to play the part.

And, I’m not complaining.

Because that is a privilege.

Not a task.

Or an obligation.

And, it gives me the chance to be a child myself.

Without explanation.

With abandon.

For, my “only” child

Gets my undivided attention.

Because that is the way it wound up.

Not really.

It wasn’t that random, I’m sure.

It was part of a Plan.

Just devised by Someone

Bigger than me.

And, thank goodness,

Smarter than me.

So, when Little Guy asks me why he’s an only child,

I’ll simply respond:

“You’re not just an only child.  You are singularly superior.  You are the best.”
(see definition above)

Because it’s true.  Just look at him...

(Paper flowers in the background courtesy of Little Guy, My One and Only)

And, that will feed in nicely with the "Center of the Universe" syndrome that "only children" naturally develop!

A mother's worrying is never done!


Stephanie said...

Well said.

Anonymous said...

My husband doesn't have siblings. And I think he turned out pretty amazing. You're beautiful Brynn and a wonderful mother to a wonderful son.

Anonymous said...

BTW I agree. You have every right to complain about having one child be hard. I was going to comment about that before you put it so well. I think one child can be harder because you are their sole entertainer, comforter, etc. etc. etc. When you have more than one they entertain each other, comfort each other, etc. etc. It is absolutely harder ;)

Michelle Davenport said...

Well the Davenports love Little Guy even if he is the ONLY Not So Little Guy (or Gal) in the family!

Maggie said...

You are a wonderful mother Brynn - and you're so right - Motherhood itself brings many challenges, no matter how many children you have.

mwc said...

What a lovely post!

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